Falling Into Place
by JulesNH4
Summary: Hey all! This is my first ever fanfic, so I'm excited! It's written in Jules' point of view, looking back over everything that has happened with her and Sam. It takes place right after Slow Burn. Please let me know what you think, and review! Enjoy! :


**Falling Into Place:**

I'd been secretly attracted to him from the first moment I met him… Well maybe the second actually. The first time I was too concerned he was about to shoot me. But the moment he walked into the bar, sat down next to me, and asked me about my first name… Well I was smitten. Not that I'll ever tell him that. I enjoyed watching him chase me for a bit. But damn, I remember thinking he was just my type.

Then when he asked me to go for a bite to eat after shift, well, it broke my heart to say no. But I knew that it would do me no good. I loved my job. Correction, I LOVE my job. I wouldn't let just anyone ruin it for me. As I've said before, I've worked my ass off to get this spot, and I sure as hell wanted to keep it. These guys are my family. Sarge is like a father to me, considering my own father isn't really present anymore… I care about him so much, and we have weekly coffee dates. And then there's Ed. Ed is one of my best friends, and he's like another big brother to me. I know he's always got my back. I can always count on him. And Spike. Man do I love Spike. He's the funniest, wackiest, coolest nerd alive, and I love being on the same team as him. He's a great asset. And god, do I miss Lou. Lou was so fun, and one of my best friends… And now Raf. Well, I don't know Raf too well yet (I don't think anybody does) because he's sure not one to open up, but he's already shown he'll be a great teammate. Once he gets a hang of things. So yeah, I didn't want to ruin my team and my job. So I said no. But then next shift… I couldn't deny my attraction to him anymore. So I just walked right up to him and asked him if the offer was still on the table. Thank god it was. And then our connection grew. It became natural to hang out with him everyday after shift, and then to ask him if he wanted to help with renovations… But I still didn't know how to characterize our relationship. Nothing had really happened yet. And then.

Then when we got the call to Paradise Falls, and I fell off the tower catching the girl Tasha (damn did that hurt like hell too), and he walked into the change room to check on me… My heart melted. And I'm pretty sure I blushed too, considering I was only wearing a towel. And then when he gently touched my bruise, I couldn't help but shiver. Honestly, I had wanted him to touch me for a long time, but I was still scared. I was just plucking up the courage to say something, or do something. And then of course Scott had to ruin the moment by calling. Way to be a buzz kill.

And then the whole necklace bomb situation had to happen. I still feel so guilty and responsible for that. It was one of my worst mistakes in SRU. How could I let my subject be kidnapped, right under my nose? I never should have trusted that damn journalist. I stormed out of that hotel, determined to make it home before I cried or screamed or did whatever I was going to. But then of course, being the stubborn ass he is, Sam followed me out. I thought I was going to scream. I did NOT want Sam Braddock seeing me cry. Snipers were supposed to be tough. Not emotional. But then… wow. That kiss. Damn, he sure knows how to kiss a girl. That was one of the happiest moments of my life. Without thinking, I just hopped in the car and gave him the directions to my place. I didn't think about the stupid rules or stupid consequences. I finally gave into my heart.

For awhile, I was so happy. Nothing felt better then falling asleep in his arms everyday. And waking up to cook him breakfast. And having someone to help me paint the walls Santorini _Sky_. And then I had to get shot. I was working so hard to get back on the team, back with my family, and I knew that my relationship with Sam was jeopardizing that. By this point, it was pretty obvious to the team. They all knew. And I knew there was no way we could be on the same team and be together, not anymore. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I still loved him. And then, of course, I accidentally told him I loved him while breaking up on him… I hadn't meant to tell him that way. I hadn't meant to tell him at all actually, since I was breaking up with him. I was hoping he wouldn't pick up on that but I was wrong. So wrong.

So then came probably the hardest period of my life. Seeing him at work everyday made my heart ache. I loved him still so much, and I knew he did too. So when Steve arrived, I jumped at the chance. At the chance to get away from Sam, and try to take my mind off him. It worked for awhile, I guess. But I felt so guilty. I loved him, sure. But I loved Sam far more. But I could tell Steve cared about me so much. I was being unfair to him, and unfair to my heart. So when he asked me to go to Niagara-on-the-Lake for wine tasting, I was about to say no, because I couldn't be unfair anymore. And then we heard the gun fire. One thing I admire about Steve is his giant heart. Without thinking about his own safety, he ran into that restaurant, trying to help save that man's life. Not like it was any use. And then when Sam came in and we did the joint take down, and I saw once again how well we worked together, I knew how much I still cared about him. It brought everything back into perspective. I knew I had to break up with Steve, but I thought it wasn't really fair to do it while he was hospitalized with a gunshot wound. So when he brought up the conversation about big pictures, I was so grateful. So grateful at how understanding he was, and how he cared more about my happiness then his own. He truly is an amazing guy. He ended the relationship for me. Everything was finally falling back into place. And then came the psych evals.

Oh god. That was tough. Toth is one hell of a tough psychologist. I guess that's what you get, working as a psychologist in the military. He got right down to the heart of the matter in no time.

_Word association. Country. Sky. Bedtime. Sam Braddock._

_Did you know the risk to your team?_

_Would you break the Priority of Life code to save the life of Sam Braddock?_

I gave all of the right answers. All the ones he was looking for, the ones Sarge was looking for. I could honestly say we weren't in a relationship. But I think my stress reactions gave me away. I couldn't help but show how much I still cared for Sam. Talking to him afterwards, I knew his evaluation had gone much like mine, too. And then, finally, I told him what was on my mind. That my love for him "wasn't going to go away." I could see he felt the same way too. Before we could go any deeper into it, I walked away. To get coffee, was my excuse, but honestly, I needed to walk away before I pretty much threw myself at him and made out with him… Not really the place to do so. While Ed was in his interview, that's all I could think about. That I didn't care anymore. I loved him too much to just ignore him and pretend he didn't matter to me. Because that was the biggest lie. My mind got taken off the matter for a little while when Ed came stalking out of the room, with Sarge following him. I knew something really bad must have happened. This day was terrifying me. Everything I had worked for, I could literally feel it slip farther and farther away from me. From the look on everyone's faces, Toth had destroyed all of us. We were all broken, I could tell. Even Sarge, and he didn't even need to take a psych. And then Sarge turned right around, ignored us, and stormed back into the briefing room to talk to Toth. At this point we were all stunned. And defeated. Then Commander came and sent us all home. I left.

I was going to listen to Commander and go home, really I was. But when I climbed in my Jeep and started the car, my brain had a mind of its own. Before I really fully processed what I was doing, I was walking down the hallway to room 1008. Before I could stop myself, I felt my fist rap against his door. _Shit_, I thought. I hadn't meant to do it. I was debating whether or not I could successfully get away in time when I heard him yell "Coming!", and heard movement on the other side. I was paralyzed. The look on his face when he opened the door and saw me, well I'm pretty sure it mirrored the shock that I had on my face too. His eyes entranced me. We just stood there, staring at each other for a long ten seconds. Then he slowly stepped to the side, and I walked into his apartment before I changed my mind and got scared away. Again. As he slowly closed the door, I couldn't help but examine him. He looked so good in his blue shirt, barefoot. He turned to face me, and once again I got lost in his eyes. He slowly started walking towards me and said something similar to what I had said earlier, about his feelings not going away. I'm not going to lie; I'm not really sure what he said. I was too mesmerized by him to really pay attention to things as silly as words. I think I nodded a little, but again, I'm not really sure. Then he said "So", and I just said "so" in return. He was standing only inches away from me, and I was a little busy getting lost in his eyes to come up with something clever or meaningful to say back. So I just said "so". And then he started leaning down, coming closer and closer. By this point, my heart was racing and I was pretty sure I was going to fall over as my legs turned to jelly. He paused, a quarter of an inch away, as if he was unsure, or scared of my reaction. I quickly closed that gap. And then we shared the most passionate kiss I've ever had. I was touching him everywhere I could, trying to make up for the past two years when I hadn't been able to touch him at all. From the way he was acting, I knew he felt the same way too. He lifted me up and put me up on the counter, and pushed the cardigan off my shoulder. I felt his hand graze up my leg, and let out an involuntary moan. I had missed his touch so much. I missed his kisses so much. I had missed _him_ so much. I had a pretty good idea where this was headed before Nat walked in. Now at this point, I didn't know who she was. So, needless to say, I was angry. And mortally embarrassed. I turned quickly back to Sam, searching for an answer, but he just glanced down, away from me, obviously shocked and embarrassed too. I couldn't really take it; I mean I thought she was Sam's girlfriend that he had neglected to mention. I mumbled some kind of apology or goodbye or something, and raced down the hall. I heard him call after me, heard the girl yell "SAM!" and then my phone was ringing.

There was an officer down call. I sprinted to my car, shoving it out of my mind. I would take my anger and disappointment out later, once I figured out what the hell was going on, and who the injured officer was. When I arrived at the station and found out it was Ed, I was devastated. Things happened in a rush then. When we finally got some kind of lead with the military angle, I was relieved. I knew I would feel better once I was out in the field. It would help me forget. At one point I glanced over at Sam, and he happened to be looking at me at that point too. He gave me a meaningful look, but I quickly glanced away. I was about to cry. I had finally let him back into my heart, and it turns out he was already taken (or so I thought). _Later_, I thought to myself. _I'll deal with this later_. But with my luck that day, of course I was paired with him. I almost always was. "Jules, can we talk about this?" he said, or something like that. I was in no mood to deal with this now. I made up some kind of meaningless apology to try and mask how upset I was. When he finally managed to tell me that it was Natalie, his sister, I was so relieved. My heart jumped for joy, but it also made me reconsider. Maybe we really shouldn't do this. I said something similar to that, and then turned my attention to trying to find Ed's shooter. When we finally found and cornered the guy, Sam and I had to do the Double Drop. It was then, holding onto him, staring into his eyes, that I knew that I truly did want him back in my life. I was putting my life in his hands, literally, and I trusted him wholeheartedly. When Sarge asked us if we wanted to do this and he said "there's no where I'd rather be", I knew he was talking to me. And I agreed. When we finally got to the hospital, seeing Izzy for the first time reinstated in my mind that I wanted a family. And when Sam reached for my hand, I knew it wanted to be with him. I walked away from him to look at Izzy closer, and because I didn't want Sarge to see we were holding hands. Then when we all finally left the hospital, I drove to Sam's place without a second thought. I loved this man, without a doubt. He was waiting for me in the parking lot. When we got to his apartment, I made him check if Nat was home first, because I didn't want another awkward encounter. Thankfully she wasn't, and we went inside. I saw the note that Nat had left, saying she'd found somewhere else to stay for the night. I felt Sam come up next to me, and I handed him the note. He turned to face me, and dropped the note. He slowly rubbed his hand up my arm. Once again, I was lost in his eyes. He asked me if I was sure about this, and I knew my answer immediately. "There's no place I'd rather be", I told him. And it was the truth.

Next came some of the best few months of my life. I was starting to realize that looking back on my life, my happiest moments were always with Sam. Damn, this man made me the happiest girl in the world. And still every time I looked him in the eyes, my heart melted. I could lose myself in those eyes for hours. And whenever I was away from him, I felt like a piece of me was missing. I had trouble falling asleep if he wasn't lying next to me, a hand around my waist. I loved stroking my hand through his short blond hair, and over his day old stubble. I loved lying with my head on his chest, and him stroking my hair, or back, or arm. I loved our joint showers in the morning, and the back rubs he always gave me. I loved when he attempted to cook for me, and almost always failed. I loved all the spontaneous adventures we always had when we were together. And just lying in his arms, watching TV. I loved all the fights we had to get control of the remote, and all the arguments about who was the better shot. I loved just sitting in silence in the morning, each reading the paper and drinking coffee, and thinking that it was the most comfortable silence in the world. I savored every moment with him.

So you can imagine, when Sarge walked into my house one morning with our weekly coffee and Sam was upstairs, I wasn't too happy. I could feel the end coming. I was silently hoping that Sam would hear him and STAY UPSTAIRS, but I knew it wasn't likely. I was trying to come up with an excuse to get him out of there as quickly as possible when he told me the news about winning Law Professional of the Year. It took my mind of the problem for a second. Then I heard Sam yell down about cooking me eggs (one of the few things he could successfully cook), and my heart dropped. I saw the look on Sarge's face go from good to bad to worse. He was furious, I could tell. And then Sam walked down the stairs, and noticed Sarge. His face dropped, too. Of course his shirt wasn't buttoned up yet, and somehow that made me feel ten times more embarrassed. I could feel Sarge's eyes burning into me. He then sat us down to "have a little talk".

"I put my job on the line for you!" and it went on like that. Our conversation didn't get far when we all got the message about a gun call. Time to get to work.

After the eventful shift, Sam and I were drifting away. I felt an urgency to talk to him before we had to face Sarge again. But then I heard Sarge calling after us, and I turned to face what I thought was the end. The end of my career, the end of our relationship, hell I didn't know. But I didn't think it would be good. After he told us that we had done a good job today, and he was going to let our relationship go on and pretend he hadn't seen anything, I could have kissed him. Honestly. I love that man.

Then we had to stupidly forget to turn our mics off. When I found out about that, I thought that it might have been the worst mistake of my life, but it kind of ended up being the best. That day, with the anthrax call, started out badly and _quickly_ progressed to worse. I did everything I could. I tried to talk him down. I could practically feel Sam's concern coursing through the mic. I was getting somewhere with Xavier too, when of course the assistant had to go for the gun. I don't know why people who have no experience never trust the cop, and always go for the gun. To try and fix it themselves, but it hardly ever ends up working that way. She blew open the refrigeration unit, and a piece of shrapnel punctured an artery in my left arm. It was one of the most painful things of my life. Almost as bad as the gun shot. Maybe even worse. I don't know, they all hurt at the time. I could feel the blood pouring over my hand, regardless of how much pressure I put on it. And then there was Sam, constantly reminding me to slow my breath. And to top it all off, I could see the pathogen meter continually rising. I tried to get everyone to leave, but by this point Xavier had full out re-escalated. I know they hadn't meant for me to hear it, but I heard Spike talk about how over 2500, the anthrax spores were fatal. I glanced at the clock, and saw it was already at about 1275. We were running out of time. I tried to talk down Xavier again, but it was no use. I could feel the life draining out of me, and thought that this was the end. I only wished that I could talk to Sam one more time, privately, before I died. Tell him I love him, this time not while I was breaking up with him. Tell him with true meaning behind it. But it was no use. I felt my energy go, and fell over onto my side. Everything was starting to grow dark. I could hear Sam yelling in my ear, fell the scientist trying to help me and Xavier asking questions, but it was all kind of a blur. Everything felt fuzzy and distant. Then out of it all rose Sam's voice, urgent, asking Xavier to let us go. I heard Xavier agree to let the two injured of us go, and Sam yell that he was coming for me. Everything was growing more and more dim. Then I was white booted feet walking toward me. I glanced up, and saw Sam's beautiful face. Terrified face. Desperate face. I knew he wanted to scoop me up and carry me to safety, but we both knew he couldn't. After all, we were professionals. He did the right thing, and followed the Priority of Life code. He brought the girl to safety. I slowly continued to fall into darkness. For awhile, everything was a blur. I heard urgent voices, and managed to tune into them. Rose had confessed to the cover up. With the last of my strength, and the help of the scientist, I managed to tell Xavier. I tried to get him to follow the Priority of Life code too, but when he declined I was in no position to argue. I vaguely felt the scientist lead me to the decontamination chamber. I could hear Sam and Ed yelling for it to hurry up, and to prepare for me, and so on. The door opened, and before I knew it Sam's steady arms were around me, protecting me once more. He led me to the paramedics, and stood anxiously beside me. I could tell he was terrified. Terrified that I wouldn't make it. I didn't think I would, either. Then, out of all the fog, came the magical words. He removed his mic, glanced around, and told me he loved me. I have never been happier. I tried to convey the same meaning back, but I don't think anything managed to escape my mouth. Then, before I knew it, I was back in another god damn hospital.

During my recovery, I enjoyed a few blissful weeks with Sam. He told me the whole story, about how we had forgotten to turn our mics off and Toth had found out about our relationship. About how the Chief had decided to split us up, but he was going to make a personal appeal to overturn that. About how Sarge hadn't denied his suspension. That one terrified me. Sarge had been there through my whole SRU career, also calling the shots, and as far as I was concerned, always making the _right_ calls. He couldn't be considering suspension. I felt like my world was turning upside down.

It was a welcome day when I finally got back on the job. Like always, I had spent my time off anxious to get back to work. I found doing nothing all day boring, not relaxing like most people. I would sit around and wait for Sam to return from shift, not really doing anything, and driving myself crazy. When Sam came back from work, my day became much happier and more interesting, but still. I wanted to get back on the job. However, being back on the job also came with a downside. Since I was back, it meant that the Chief now had to make his decision about me and Sam. When I heard that he would talk to Sarge _after_ shift, I thought I would go crazy. I didn't want to have to wait all day to hear the answer. Luckily, I had the family picnic to look forward to. I was so excited to see Izzy again, and I loved having a relaxing time to spend with my team. It was also good to have _families_ there. Even out the testosterone levels a bit. However, before I could enjoy the picnic, we had to deal with an extremely busy shift. We chased down a firebug, then had to talk down a suicidal firefighter. And Sarge couldn't take the pressure, and walked away from us. The job fell on me to talk him down. It was no good though, and I knew that. He had already made a connection with Sarge, and I was nothing to him. Luckily Ed talked him around, and he came to finish the job. It worked, and we kept the peace for one more day. Finally, it was time for the picnic.

I enjoyed the picnic, it's true. But throughout the first little bit I was just too anxious about the Chief's decision to fully enjoy it. But I had a really good time talking to Winnie and catching up with Marina (who I was happy to see there with Sarge). And holding Izzy was amazing. While I was holding her I turned and looked at Sam, and the look on his face was amazing. I knew he wanted a family, too. And I knew we both wanted one together. Then Sarge's phone rang. He walked away from the group to get some privacy. I quickly handed Izzy back and went to stand with Sam, who looked like he had no clue what to do. Sarge beckoned us over, and I felt the team move to stand together behind us. Here was a determining factor for all of our futures. When Sarge told us the news, I couldn't believe it. I had never thought that the Chief would actually change his mind. I was so incredibly happy, and the look on Sam's face told me he was too. The team laughed and cheered and congratulated us when they heard. Everything was finally falling back into place. And then Sarge gave the most flattering speech ever. He was starting to tear up, and didn't want us seeing that. Ed took control and followed. Our team instinctively moved together, anxious to see what would happen. We saw Sarge pull out his suspension orders, and hand them to Ed. Then, we saw Ed ripping them into pieces. We laughed, we cheered, we cried, we hugged. Everything was back exactly the way it should be. And I'm so excited to see where it will take us.

**Hope you all enjoyed it! Since it's my first, I would be SO grateful if you would take the time to give me an HONEST review, and any advice! I'd love to hear your opinion! After writing this, I'm considering writing stories from all the other characters point of view, looking back over all of their most memorable events throughout the history of the show, thus far. So please let me know what you think, and if I should write more! Thanks again! :)**


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